: Nakamaru/Massu (Kat-tun/NewS)Rating
: Crack, magic, Tegoshi’s god like powers, frottage.Notes
: This became much more of a monster than I intended, and isn’t exactly realistic, though it IS based in reality, just don’t take the premise too seriously ok? Summary
: It’s Maru’s birthday and he doesn’t think anyone has remembered, until Tegoshi gives him a present he didn’t even ask for.
2008 ^_^ Recipient ryograndePost-reveals comments:
GOOD GOD THIS ALMOST KILLED ME!!! But I am so very proud to have made Crys happy with her fic pressie.
So thanks again to Vix for sifting through this terribly long monster of a creation and honestly I'm kinda sad to see it all finished and revealed finally because I know I will never produce something so imaginative again.
Oh oh! And big loves to Crys of course, for not only liking it, but loving on it in 3 WHOLE COMMENTS and
on her journal
Nakamaru was feeling rather insignificant, naturally reflecting on the last year as he prepared to add another to his age - in four days in fact, when he would turn 25. He wasn't freaking out about it; after all, birthdays were an inevitable part of living; a joyous event to mark yet another unit of life, not something to be feared for an incremental increase in number.
He wondered if the other Kat-tun members would remember without either him or the staff reminding them - they didn't have the 'member-ai' so famous amongst the NewS guys, they were just perfectly companionable but in no rush to socialise much outside of work responsibilities. It was always tempting not to mention that it was his birthday at all just to see who would genuinely know, but then Nakamaru ran the risk of the horrible realisation that no-one would and however much you expect something like that it's no less depressing to face the reality.
Maybe it was his fault for being less than flamboyant because he realised he didn't have the stand-out nature of the others. No diligent strive to be popular and excel like Kame, who was always determined to conquer tasks to the point of exhaustion, and he definitely had none of that lazy confidence that Jin exuded, who fumbled his words and made mistakes in routines, yet it didn't worry him in the slightest, it just became part of his charm. He could never achieve the flashy, brash exterior Koki had created, inexplicably managing to blend it seamlessly with his caring personality, balanced in some ways by Taguchi's fall guy persona, constantly the butt of the joke or failing at a task in some way, wearing that wide grin regardless and happy in his place, or even Ueda, who more often than not didn't get much chance to speak, so when he did it was always so random that this enigma image made him all the more interesting.
But Nakamaru was just... Ordinary.
However, he also realised he didn't really mind. He'd never intended to stand out and maybe in an industry of over the top colours and costumes a bit of normality was more unique than anything. He was past the awkward stage of being uncomfortable with who he was, but the commute to work was dull and his mind turned over the thoughts in his head like a child fawning over an interesting rock, examining the surface for flaws but not knowing whether finding one would be a good thing or not.
It did occur to him though that he had nothing planned for his birthday, and however comfortable you were in your own skin, spending your birthday alone was a little bit saddening; he'd have to rectify this.
He had just resolved to ask some work mates out for a quiet celebratory dinner, having now reached the Johnny's Entertainment building, the path so familiar his feet would just walk him there unaided by any conscious mental processes, when his concentration was shattered by an enthusiastic call from behind him.
At which point he was put upon by a limpet-like pounce from behind and he looked down to regard his own midsection as arms clamped around his waist from out of sight.
"Happy Birthday!!" The arms declared, slightly muffled because however much their owner had matured in the last few years, he was not tall enough to avoid being smothered into Nakamaru's back in such a position.
"It's not my birthday until Thursday," he replied, dead-pan because this was in fact the truth, however determined the arms were to congratulate him today.
At which point the arms detached themselves, bringing the rest of the attached body into view as Tegoshi circled round to face him and pout, as this would have been very hard to achieve in the previous arm state though Nakamaru did rather suspect if anyone could manage it Tegoshi could.
"Don't be such a spoil sport!" Now there were hands on hips, "It's never too early to celebrate a fun thing like a birthday!" He wagged a finger to emphasise his point.
Not that Nakamaru even had time to feel suitable remorse for his lack of a giddy response, before the Tegoshi killer smile was back and the young man was happily looping an arm through Maru's to walk them both down the corridor. To God knows where, Nakamaru noticed, certainly not to where he had been heading previously, but you did not attempt to interrupt a moving vehicle when Tegoshi was steering - animate or otherwise.
"Shame you're not having a party though," Tegoshi continued, like he spent every morning walking Nakamaru down random corridors in a rather girlie fashion, and when Maru thought about it, he rather resented this hypothetical event being referred to as a party when he was in fact turning 25, not quite fitting the image of 'party hats, jelly and ice cream and pin the tail on the donkey' that that phrasing brought to mind.
"But I suppose I'd miss it anyway," The younger man actually sounded genuinely sad to be missing this imaginary event and Maru felt it was his new friendly duty to enquire why Tegoshi had to very disappointingly miss his fake party.
"Oh?" Well, he didn't have to be detailed in his input, Tegoshi was impressively holding up the conversation all on his own.
"I'll be away checking out some Stonehenge place for magical energies with ItteQ for the week." Well that explained it, he was jet setting again for another adventure with a truly random and strange reason.
"Look after our groups for me while I'm away, yeah? Keep them out of trouble!" Nakamaru was also slightly impressed at the younger man's apparent possessive nature, treating their respective groups like he oversaw their well being.
"This is my stop. Happy Birthday, Nakamaru!" Tegoshi exclaimed abruptly.
Slipping free of their linked arms, he stood up on his tip-toes to plant a kiss right on Maru's nose, before smiling a full on, gleaming and worked on to painstaking perfection, 1000 watt idol smile at the older man.
"An early birthday present!" He exclaimed joyously like this was the best present Maru would ever receive, accompanied by a rather disturbing and pointed wink, before turning in a waft of pleasantly alluring and fashionable cologne and skipping merrily off down the corridor and around a corner out of sight.
Leaving Maru rubbing distractedly at his nose, an in-built reflex at such a strange kind of motherly expression of affection, and sort of stranded in an unfamiliar corridor of a building that genuinely seemed to be mostly corridors, specially designed to be identical and create a maze of mirrors effect for any determined fan girls that had somehow managed to sneak past security.
He silently wished for someone to turn up who knew where they were going, as the slight chill of the air conditioning tickled his nose and he twitched in response. Someone preferably not Jin, who would laugh at him for being in such a predicament and lord it over him for ages to come. It did occur to him that in a building like this there was surely a security camera looking at him from somewhere and possibly a mean spirited guard having a good laugh at his expense already.
Thankfully, he was saved from the humiliation of being lost or - God forbid - having to ask for directions, in his own workplace, when Massu wandered out of a nearby door, none the wiser to Maru's inner embarrassing dilemma.
"Oh, Nakamaru! Just the guy I was looking for." Well, wasn't he popular all of a sudden? "What're you doing on Thursday?"
The day was definitely taking a turn for the better. He should have known he could rely on Massu to not only remember, but want to take him out for a nice birthday dinner as well. It made Maru unconditionally happy to have his friend invite him to spend his birthday together with him and it crossed his mind that if he had a girlfriend that's exactly what she'd be doing. Maybe he should just start fancying Massu and be done with it, he surmised, scratching absently at his nose again, which seemed strangely itchy lately for some reason. Knowing his luck, Maru was allergic to whatever lip gloss Tegoshi used and would come up in some nasty red rash if he didn't leave it alone. He'd better tread carefully to avoid getting shouted at for the huge make-up job it would entail.
Instead, he just erupted with a huge sneeze, apparently surprising some poor staff member he was passing so much that she fell over on the spot, her papers and folders flying everywhere in a hurricane of official looking documents, surrounding them with hundreds of imminent threats of paper cuts.
He scrambled to help her pick them up, apologising profusely all the while for startling her like that, while she equally, profusely insisted that it wasn't his fault, she'd just slipped for a moment and she scuttled off to wherever it was she was heading.
But Maru had no time to dwell on this slight oddity of an incident, as he had much more interesting, birthday-related things to think about now, and he didn't pay the encounter any more thought.
As the day neared, Maru was becoming rather excited to just spend a quiet birthday hanging out with Massu. He always had such a good time with his friend and he could think of no better way to spend this particular day than doing something with the younger man - just a dinner or some karaoke, maybe even a film - it didn't really matter.
He enjoyed spending time with Massu. Not so much the things they did - he'd never been that big a fan of shopping, and he didn’t really get Massu's eccentric tastes, especially his love for all things bright and loud and hugely patterned within an inch of their lives. No, what he enjoys is the fact that Massu wants his opinion - not just anyone's opinion, his
opinion - and that little bit of courtesy makes all the difference; makes Maru care about his responses however outlandish the garments.
Not just that, but Massu listens
even when Maru is babbling and filling in the empty space in conversations, because he loathes those awkward silences and the paranoia that comes with them. Yet Massu takes in every word so that all of a sudden he is less nervous and the silence doesn't matter so much, because it’s comfortable.
Though when Massu then starts suggesting clothes like his own for Nakamaru, he is frozen in a space between wanting to be a polite and a respect-worthy senpai about the choice his friend is eagerly asking for his opinion on and not ever wanting to wear something with that many colours combined at the same time ever in his life. He is possibly thinking about writing that down somewhere so he doesn't accidentally get buried in it as a prank, and he's panicking about how on earth to deal with this situation but then Massu smiles, laughing at him for being such an idiot and he was only joking, it wouldn't do to have competition for his brilliant sense of style anyway.
Massu had happily informed him on their way to his birthday dinner he'd found this great new place to eat that served the most delicious gyoza he'd eaten in ages, waxing poetic for at least 2 streets worth of conversation, analyzing every ingredient and taste and the perfect union they created when mixed as only this new restaurant knew how.
So detailed and praising were the descriptions that even Nakamaru found his mouth watering at the thought of these legendary gyoza and happily followed Massu's lead as he lead him through the streets to their destination.
He was slightly dubious, however, as to this place’s reputation when they turned down a dark alley and down some stairs to the entrance. Nakamaru was all geared up to question this location and how on earth his friend even found it when it was so out of the way, surely not somewhere you'd just happen upon by accident, when the door opened revealing, darkness.
Before an explosion of light and sound as lights switched on accompanied by hundreds of voices yelling 'surprise' in harmony.
It shocked Nakamaru how much this turn of events felt like betrayal, as though Massu had tricked him almost, rather than just aiding in a birthday surprise fully intended to be a happy thing, but he didn't want to admit to anyone, even himself, that what he really wanted for his birthday was time with Massu.
It didn't take him two seconds to realise this whole thing was Jin's idea and there was definitely just the right carefully calculated amount of scantily clad girls milling around to justify 'yes I have done a good thing for my friend and band mate and thrown him a brilliant party but that doesn't mean I can't get something out of it too by inviting plenty of eager bait to prey on'.
But Jin looked so damn proud of himself and so many people had turned up, though pessimistically he did wonder if that was because of the free booze and slight brush with fame it would afford most of the nameless, faceless guests, that he felt like a total bastard to not stay and at least attempt to enjoy his surprise.
It was loud and raucous once the festivities got into full swing; everything you'd expect when a group of rowdy twenty-something's get a chance to cut loose under the guise of celebrating someone else's birthday with lots and lots
of alcohol and music and dark corners to secret away to with some hot stranger.
at least impressed that a whole club had been hired out for them in a rare act of generosity from the company, though it was just as likely to do with the extreme begging Jin and Pi had no doubt employed, on Maru's behalf of course, along with the blackmail that there'd be plentiful drinking which surely you wouldn't want getting into the papers would you?
Truthfully, it was not very him at all, if Maru was being honest.
Casting about the room Nakamaru did discover that there was
jelly and ice cream, so Tegoshi's prediction of a 'party' was spot on. Maybe he really did have scary, god-like powers as the rumour went, or possibly - more realistically - he was just in on the surprise. The ice cream was in a kind of ‘help-yourself’ set up to one side of the bar and the suspicious lack of bowls was very unsubtly alluding to its decidedly non-innocent purpose at his birthday.
Despite Nakamaru's previous thoughts, there was also a crude version of the popular party game at children's parties, not actually involving a donkey, but instead a man that was definitely hung like one; that's what you get for letting Jin and Yamapi collaborate on the festivities.
He may as well make the most of his impromptu surprise though, and headed to the bar for a bit of festive cheer.
Many hours and many, many drinks later, Nakamaru has imbibed more than his, and the entire city’s, fair share of alcohol, having holed up in a booth in the corner, nursing drink after drink and getting ever gloomier with each one. Granted, Maru wasn't usually the life-and-soul of the party or anything, but this wasn't the time to mope. The company had hired out an entire club for them to pile into; all the better to spare the festivities spilling into the tabloids and having to forego more band members as a result - he should be taking advantage of the opportunity.
He had been watching Massu, unconsciously at first, before the gloom had set in, and had observed him laughing and joking with various other guests, a ray of glowing sobriety in a sea of liquor but then the younger man was the life of the party anyway - in Nakamaru's opinion at least. He needed none of this mind-dulling drink for either the confidence or the drive to dance along to the bass thumping music.
And he was gorgeous, this pure spirit moving along with the sounds, unrestrained by the usual routines, free to twist and turn and lose himself in the rhythm, to dance like no-one was watching, as ironic as that sounded, because the way Massu dances emitted such a synchronicity that everyone
was watching, the club lights blurring in hypnotic patterns with Nakamaru's drink addled vision.
It was the kind of music that was so deep you could feel it in your bones, vibrating through your limbs and throbbing along your bloodstream, like your very cells themselves were almost imperceptibly moving to the all encompassing beat, and so loud that your ears had this cushioning of heavy noise constantly overshadowing your thoughts.
It wasn't long before Koki was sidling up on the seat next to him and poking him companionably in the side, which obviously is the universal code for 'hey friend what's eating you?' and wondering why the birthday boy was sitting all by himself looking like a wet blanket instead of being the life of the party.
But Nakamaru's attention was focused elsewhere, staring off to some point on the dance floor between sips of drink and Koki almost as though he hadn't even realised he was there until Maru spoke, seemingly voicing his thoughts more than anything as the subject of his rambling had escaped notice.
"I bet the whole band have tried to get in his pants by now - but he's too good for them, Koki, like Yamapi - if his head gets any bigger from all this endless hero-worship-leader-status he won't be able to fit through doors anymore or Ryo, constantly acting like something crawled up his arse and died because that's so
attractive and how does Shige manage to match up with him when he dances like he has two left feet, anyway? At least I don't have to worry about Koyama going after him, because at the moment one more feminine trait and he really will turn into a girl," Maru slurred, while Koki's mind worked a mile a minute to process the riddle pieces and work out who exactly it was Maru was talking about, racking his brain for the answer until his eyes alighted on the unlikely answer of Massu.
was surprising!' Koki thought. Who knew that underneath that placid persona of Nakamaru's he had such unvented bile!
"Wow, alcohol makes you nasty
. Hey, what's wrong with your nose, it keeps twitching."
"I don't know, it been all weird and itchy since Tegoshi wished me Happy Birthday the other day. Does it look all red?" Nakamaru absently rubbed at the appendage in question, his gaze sweeping the mass of dancing bodies once more, spying Jin and Kame amongst their number and veering straight back to his previous train of conversation.
"And our band's just as bad! What about Kame? I swear
I've seen Kame eyeing him up, when he manages to tear his attention away from that disgusting hat for more than 2 seconds - I mean, if he loved it any more he may as well start getting off with it! And thank God
Jin hasn't discovered what a catch he is; he'd have perverted his poor, un-filthy personality in seconds.
"Just look at Jin now, all poofy hair and wriggly bottom half, dancing away unsuspecting peoples’ innocence. You know, if Jin keeps faffing with his hair so much he'll go bald early," Nakamaru sniped, in full flow with his insults.
Which Koki had to admit was actually quite a funny thought and they snickered quietly together, highly
amused at this fanciful image of Jin losing his precious hair, though not actually stupid enough to let him hear them say that of course. Jin was bigger than the both of them and they were not willing to risk the bruises they could gain as a result of such a threat against such a valuable commodity, if not from direct blows then from him sitting on them until they repented.
But he knew this level of bitching wasn't healthy for their oldest member and definitely
not a way for him to waste away his birthday, so he valiantly put on his cheeriest 'let's partay' demeanour and steered Nakamaru up and away from the booth and towards the group of dancing bodies to have some genuine fun for the night.
With the morning after came almost simultaneous groans from various parts of Tokyo, as alarms rang out, unwanted and far too shrill. Had the world deliberately moved extra fast for a bit there, because that definitely didn't feel like three hours sleep.
This was followed by either resolutely solid consciences prying tired muscles into movement of the getting up kind, or equally dedicated mothers prodding their sons into wakefulness and some modicum of responsibility.
Kame awoke the next morning, snapping straight into work mode as his alarm alerted him to wakefulness, and immediately shook off the party attitude of the night before as he set about his regimented morning routine to make the most of his time before he set off for the day.
Strangely though, today he felt, eager, for something... He wasn't sure what for, just there was some unconscious feeling of excitement and anticipation with arriving at the Jimusho today and as much as he loved his work, this feeling was taking it to an extreme.
But of course, his schedule left no room to dwell on such things, so Kame pushed it to the back of his mind to keep on track with what he was doing.
Yamapi, though, was not nearly as proactive about the whole morning ritual in his apartment, settling for rolling out of bed, throwing on whatever clothes were closet and once again applauding his own genius at the new perm hairdo not needing an extensive hair care ritual to be ready for the day. His body moves mechanically to get dressed, conditioned over years of too many early mornings and that one incident when he wasn't thinking right and had gone so far as to get on the train still in his ratty make-shift pyjamas before snapping out of his sleepy state and having to make a very embarrassing call to Jin for him to bring him something classed as actual clothing to wear.
He merely grabbed a baseball cap to jam onto his head before striding out the door, noticing that it felt distinctly tighter with said inspired hairstyle than was perhaps desired.
A little way away in the Kato household, Shige was being awoken by his slightly
more pleasant alarm, thoughtfully set to lull him into consciousness with gradually increasing classical music rather than the offensive and abrupt beeping of most devices. So overall his wakeup wasn't too sudden, until he made a total fool of himself tripping over his own feet getting out of bed and landing in a messy pile on the floor.
His mother called up to see if he was ok, and he grunted an affirmation in her general direction before picking himself up, mentally noting it's probably for the best that he wasn't in the practice of bringing home random girls to die of embarrassment after having them witness his utter lack of grace in the mornings.
Koyama was fidgeting; his head was itchy, kind of tickly in one of those insistent ways that you know will bother you endlessly but if you deign to scratch it, it will only get infinitely worse, but really all he wanted to do was go to town on his scalp with his fingernails until all the feeling went away.
And his chest too, his t-shirt suddenly felt extra restricting, like it had moulded itself to his body with some invisible vacuum force born of phantom changes in the laws of physics because he was sure
it had fit just fine this morning, but with a bit of experimental twisting it was definitely feeling strange now.
He was on the train and, typically, this meant hot and uncomfortable travelling conditions, but this was something different, coming from himself almost, rather than his proximity to others. Maybe he was getting ill. Although he didn't relish the thought of spending days feeling horrible and under the weather, Koyama sort of hoped that was the case merely to explain this disquieting oddness he was feeling
He would have to go to the toilets in the Jimusho, he decided, to check for chicken pox or anything strange and disgusting before he showed his face to the others and more than likely infected them with whatever it was he had contracted.
The Kat-tun room was in no way a lively one that morning, as band members in various states of slump, groggy and downright grumpy arrived for the day, though it was slightly harder to tell with Ueda, who was never the most bright and talkative at the best of times.
Koki was lying bonelessly on a sofa, in that kind of tired, silently observing state, where you're not really paying attention but ready at a moment’s notice to be interested should something exciting happen, but as yet the room held nothing out of the ordinary.
Jin had high-tailed it, to no doubt hang around his practically surgically-attached best friend, or possibly to avoid whatever stupid Kame-angering thing he'd managed in the three minutes he'd been in the building this morning. Nakamaru was yet to surface, which didn't surprise Koki in the least with how utterly hammered the guy had been last night.
Scanning the room for anything to pique his interest, Koki saw that Junno was in his usual spot, texting in the corner, looking determinately innocent - which of course screamed that he was being the exact opposite - although that had already been thoroughly investigated and uncovered as a 'secret' relationship between him and Koyama, made only slightly more shocking from the fact that Junno was the one in charge and could be positively filthy in text form. However, this was seen and done and hence declared boring to the casual observer.
But as his gaze once again travelled the room, he noticed that was something suspicious about Kame. At first glance there was nothing strange, the younger man watching some performances to improve on the hardworking perfectionist that he was, but he kept throwing glances over to the corner of the room, increasingly frequently even, like he was holding himself back from looking and failing miserably. Following Kame’s furtive gaze didn't shed much light on this strange behaviour either; there was really nothing of interest in that area at all, just a rack of costumes and accessories for their performances.
Although intrigued, Koki just brushed this off as some strange 'Kameism' no doubt desperate to practice or dress-up for a performance or something, but the moment he stopped caring, Kame has sprung out of his seat, some excuse about needing to be somewhere else declared to the room before he snatched something from the rack and practically ran out the door.
"Has anyone seen Koyama?" was Yamapi's first sentence as he arrived at the NewS room, not batting an eyelid at Jin being there.
"Not seen him" Ryo unhelpfully supplied, clearly not caring in the slightest about why their resident member-ai promoter was absent that morning, and making no move to be of any aid in finding out, either.
"Oh, I think I ran into him on my way here – he was dashing off to the toilets crying," Jin piped up offhandedly, twirling his hair school style as he said it.
"What, is he ok? Didn't anyone think to ask him what was wrong?"
. He cries about something practically every day."
"Well, maybe this time was different… I'd better go and look for him," Yamapi mused, exiting the room in search of Koyama.
"Does Pi's head seem bigger to you?” Jin questioned absently once Yamapi had left. He was mooching around the NewS break room, making himself completely at home and in no hurry to leave because he'd managed to piss Kame off in the Kat-tun one already by eating all his pretentious yoghurt - that apparently was so ridiculously good for you that you had to buy it in equally pretentious shops and probably have some kind of special pretension ID card to even be allowed to buy the stuff, because god forbid a bit of yoghurt fell into the wrong hands - or so Jin had relayed the story to Ryo anyway. But it was always better to avoid all the vicious sniping and possible cattiness if he hadn't strategically retreated (read: cowardly ran away) to wait out that storm until it was over.
"Yamapi always has a big head Jin, haven’t you heard - he's a star surgical student now, he’s been boasting about it to anyone who will and won't listen," Ryo replied, having been victim to deliberately flowery medical jargon filled sentences on one too many occasions by now and might possibly consider some kind of violent response should he hear STAT one more time.
"No. I mean, like, literally. I don't think his neck used to look that small," Jin defended, ponderously tapping his chin as though he'd scientifically thought out his findings.
"Right. Whatever you say. Since when did you start paying so much attention to Pi's neck?" Ryo accompanied this with a studiously-practiced raised eyebrow, "I knew you two would be perving on each other the minute you moved in together! Have you slept with him yet? Cuz then Koyama owes me money." He grinned as wide as possible, which involving Ryo was quite the sight.
Jin just pouted in response, determined in his rightness, but unable to produce any evidence to support his counter-argument without their subject present.
At which point Koyama emerged, shuffling into the room looking blotchy, ragged and shaken, clutching his coat protectively around him and looking slightly like a bag-lady in the process before bustling Shige - who had been innocuously reading, headphones jammed in his ears to block out the usual distractions and studiously ignoring everything around him - away to whisper frantically in the corner.
Koyama was desperately hissing to the other man, sounds that that were too hard to decipher to the casual 'I'm trying really hard to look like I'm not listening in but really I'm dying to know what you're saying' observer, attempting to do his usual expressive gesturing while still clutching his precious coat about his person.
But they needn't have bothered straining their ears, because at that very moment Koyama had grabbed hold of Shige's hand and planted in firmly on his own crotch. The observers wondered if they'd got more of a show than they bargained for, this being better than most TV dramas for viewing entertainment, before the plotline got even more
interesting as Shige exclaimed, "YOU HAVE NO COCK?!" retracting his hand as though he'd been burned, too shocked to exhibit his usual tact.
Jin, however, was having a field day,
"OMG Koyama really IS a girl! I always suspected, but how did you disguise it all this time? Does Johnny know? Are your boobs really tiny then? Can I feel them?!" he rambled, firing questions at Koyama and bouncing up to make good on getting a feel of the poor woman's breasts.
"Pervert!!" Koyama shrieked, clutching desperately at his coat and diving behind Shige to escape being molested, "I'm not a girl! You've all seen me naked!" Eyes that were even bigger and more pleading than usual were turned upon them, watering earnestly as Koyama tried to defend himself.
"Well, I never look," Ryo retorted, "I have no desire to check out other men’s packages, thanks. You shoulda told me, then I would have." A distinct leer twisted his features at the thought of bathing with the naked girl Koyama.
"But I'm not a girl! Or I wasn't until today, someone gave me secret sex-change surgery in my sleep." Wringing his hands in Shige's t-shirt, Koyama promptly burst into yet more sobs.
"There, there," Shige attempted in possibly the most inept attempt at consoling a sobbing women that mankind had ever witnessed, twisting around to pat uncomfortably at a shaky shoulder. "We can fix this, maybe, or help at least. Please don't cry." The last sentence, at least, sounds sincere as Shige handed his friend a tissue to dab at his eyes with.
"Shige is such a good friend!" Koyama exclaimed, changing emotional gear faster than human eyes could follow, "What would I do without you?!" He wrapped his arms around said 'good friend', causing a blush to colour his cheeks at the rounded softness now pressed against his back.
He was saved from his discomfort as Taguchi appeared at the door, giving some completely transparent excuse involving the wardrobe staff requiring Koyama's presence that had ceased being believable ages ago because the whole company knew exactly what they were getting up to, before grabbing Koyama's arm and whisking him away before he had the chance to protest.
"Do you think we should've told him Koyama's missing something in the underwear department?" Jin smirked, very much enjoying the idea of the shock Taguchi would receive at his boyfriend’s new 'equipment'.
"Nah, serves him right for trying to keep this little tryst secret." Ryo grinned, of exactly the same opinion as Jin as to how fun it would be when Taguchi found out.
And almost as one collective uncontrollable mind they could picture the scene of Junno crowding Koyama against a wall, feverishly kissing his neck and pressing up against, wasting no effort in pretending he wasn’t gunning for a good hard fuck until he felt something odd, or rather didn’t.
“Wait, why aren't you hard? Do I not turn you on? Maybe I'm just not being persuasive enou- Ehhhhh
To most people, this new member gender switch should have been serious cause for concern and possibly a reason to question their own sanity with frequent checks that they weren't in fact dreaming - though not from Jin because he pinched too hard. But most people did not have the distinctly less than normal atmosphere of Johnny's Entertainment to function in daily or the being known as Tegoshi in their lives, who everyone agreed had some kind of strange air about him that they unconsciously gave some respect to lest they be turned into something horrific and slimy.
Thus Koyama's little 'problem' was dismissed from their minds almost as soon as he left the room - it could be Taguchi's problem now, until Koyama was specifically crying on them again - and they all resumed their business which in all but Shige's case didn't involving moving at all.
It didn't take Ryo long to decide, however, that Shige, sitting and studying quietly, was in need of being investigated, or to a more honest person, interrupted, so he scooted over to have a poke at whatever the younger man was reading.
"Good god Ryo, what is that smell? Is that you
?" Jin exclaimed as Ryo passed by.
"Oh, it's just your rotten attitude," Jin offered in answer to his own statement then dissolved into snickers at his own wittiness, to which the 'if looks could kill you'd be pleading for your life about now' TM glare was sent his way and of course went unnoticed.
"He's right you know Ryo," ventured Shige, poking the bear unintentionally as he sniffed the air, noticing a distinctly unpleasant undertone radiating from Ryo's vicinity.
His face was contorting into a most disgust-filled grimace as the older man huffed in displeasure, his sense of smell being assaulted with atoms of rotted putrid stink, so strong it felt like it was burning off all the hair and
nerves from the inside of his nose and beginning to work on his flesh if he stayed exposed to it too much longer. Even Shige's eyes were watering slightly as some evil backlash to the evil aroma of death.
He rued the day he's even taken that whiff of air at all in fact, although despite the misguided unconscious action he did notice the smell seemed to originate from the direction of Ryo's backside.
"Ryo, it's coming from your arse," was hissed at his snarky band mate out the corner of his mouth as discretely as was humanly possible while performing the mortifyingly humiliating task of informing a band mate that he had some kind of stink radiating from his behind.
"Right, you're coming with me for that remark!" Ryo yanked a still grimacing Shige up by the scruff of his fashionably rugged shirt, a brief thought as to when Shige actually acquired some modicum of style knowledge crossing his mind before he hoisted the cringing man to his feet, pulling him bodily towards the door.
With more effort than he thought it would have taken, in fact, because Shige seemed to be doing some kind of weird side-winding that was possibly as far away from actual walking as existed without becoming a sort of very rubbish tap dance. He looked like a trolley, yeah that was it, like a supermarket trolley that's old and always has one wonky wheel that does its own thing and makes it impossible to steer, veering off on random tangents whenever it pleased to make you look completely inept at the simple task of guiding the metal contraption around in straight lines.
"Stop stumbling around like a toddler dammit, pick your feet up like a big boy and get a move on!" Ryo snapped, his nonexistent-to-begin-with patience having none of this fannying around.
"I can't help it, my feet feel weird," Shige replied, sounding genuinely distressed at his inability to get his own feet under control, whether he wanted to accompany Ryo or not. "All unbalanced. I can't walk straight Ryo, I'm trying!"
"It's probably just them going to sleep from you sitting on your lazy arse all morning." He continued in his insistent tugging towards the door.
"Working on my coursework is hardly just sitting on my lazy arse!" Most of which was now scattered across the sofa and floor when Ryo's 'attack' had caused him to drop everything previously balanced on his lap.
"Don't be a baby, I need to get out of here and you're coming with me." Though despite the harsh words, Shige noticed that Ryo was now physically steering them both in the right direction, even lifting him slightly off the floor for a second when the younger man appeared to be going AWOL in the foot department again.
Leaving Jin alone in the room, weighing his options as to whether it was worth going back and face Kame or be a big loner all by himself here, he chose the former.
Meanwhile, Koki had been seeking out the newly suspicious Kame; his curiosity now overwhelmingly peaked as to why he was behaving so strangely and eager to uncover whatever sordid affair he was likely to be having so that he could spread the gossip.
He was distracted slightly on the way at the understandably un-ignorable shout of "YOU HAVE NO COCK?!" as he walked by but upon further investigation merely snickered - were they really surprised that Koyama was less than manly? Plus, some kind of stink bomb appeared to have been set off in there and his senses were screaming at him not to dally any longer and resume his Kame stalking mission post-haste, because apparently his senses spoke in a posh English schoolboy style.
Koki didn't have to venture far, however, as he peered into an unused room a little further down the hall, muffled noises from inside alerting him that it wasn't as unused as it pretended to be.
Strangely, however there wasn't a second person in sight, just Kame who appeared to be doing some kind of strip tease act with a hat, naked as the day he was born, though a damn sight better filled out, with only said hat covering his modesty. The tattered, burnt, purple hat from their ‘Don' U Ever Stop’ performances.
But on second glance he wasn't merely shielding his privates from surprised eyes, in fact he didn't seem to have noticed Koki was watching at all, a look of pleasure crossing his features, his eyes closed in bliss as GOOD GOD he was frotting against the inside of the hat!! Gasping sharply in ecstasy with every thrust against the silken innards, fingers running lovingly over the felt of the exterior, pausing to pay better attention to the rips and burns he'd adorned it with himself.
Before he could tear himself away from the sight, riveted in shocked horror at the ridiculous yet strangely erotic sight- merely because it involved Kame making unabashed sex faces, not, thank god, because he also had some secret fetish for headgear - the younger member's fingers were clenching in the starched material, eyes squeezed shut as a strangled, choked, high-pitched moan mixed with a breathless gasp signalled the other man orgasming into the hat’s interior.
And oh God, he'd just seen Kame come from an accessory, his mind would never be clean again! What he wouldn't give for some kind of brain floss right about now to shake loose the images like the dental stuff does for morsels of food between teeth as he desperately tried to pretend this hadn't happened and headed back to the dressing room to keep up the charade.
Jin, however, was in no rush to return, dawdling his way there while humming random, but obviously stunningly voiced, melodies, absently running his fingers through his hair and frowning as he encountered a particularly stubborn snag. His precious hair did not tangle
! This had to be the work of some very unfunny prank to sully his perfectly kept tresses, and there would definitely be penance. But first he needed a mirror...
"MY HAIR!! DEAR GOD MY HAIR!!!"
The shriek that echoed around the building, the windows vibrating ominously with the pitch and more than a few of the less sturdy glasses sitting around in the cafeteria shattering in response to the shocking news - though they were, in fact, inanimate and it was more likely the note Jin had managed to hit that did it, not the horror it was portraying.
Followed by the thundering of Jin hurtling down the hall, a hat - not
the purple one - held desperately to his head and clumps of hair clutched fitfully in his fists, though you'd have needed pinpoint vision to spot this with the speed at which he was moving.
The first four or so panicked sentences he choked out to the current occupants of the first room he fled into, which happened to be the Kat-tun room, were mostly lost on them, their poor ears still registering a loud insistent ringing, and more than one of them did in fact raise a hand to said orifice and check for any undue bleeding, permanent damage to eardrums being suddenly a very real concern.
But the message was clear all the same, the chunks of hair Jin was now sobbing pathetically over being a bit of a giveaway and however comic the situation, the sight Jin made was such a distraught one that no-one dared say anything.
Not that they needed to as an indignant squawk of shock turned everyone's attention to the doorway, eyes widening in disbelief before blinking rapidly to somehow refresh or wipe away the sight into something more coherent and believable because what they were witnessing was Yamapi, stuck in the doorway. His head was swollen to ridiculous, cartoonish proportions on his now stick-like neck, his arms flailing about frantically, gripping the door jamb to try and lever himself free from his stoic captor.
"Don't just stare at me!!" He wailed, which only made the scene funnier because Pi was now gesticulating wildly to emphasise his point, "I'm a leader dammit, you should be rushing over to help me!"
Jin utilized the moment to hastily don a suitably rugged, battered beanie - as everyone's attention was captured by the new distraction - to cover the nightmare happening to his head while no-one was looking so that he could fix, revert or cry about it in private later. The hat snapped him back instantaneously to full mocking power, happily repressing the hair problems whilst they couldn't directly be seen.
"HA, SEE. Damn, where's Ryo so I can ‘I told you so’ at him, I KNEW your head was bigger!" Jin crowed, because no situation was so dire that he would forgo a good 'I told you so', especially when the threat of retribution for doing so was decidedly minimal with Pi stuck in the predicament that he was currently in.
Meanwhile, Maru was walking down the corridor on his way to one of the recording rooms, because right now he really wanted some peace and quiet, not to be poked every five seconds because Jin wanted his point in an argument backed up or have the low hum of chatter turn into furious shouts as Taguchi and Koki attempted to beat each other to death on some game which inevitably lead to even more slanging matches. At least Ueda was quiet, although he did have the tendency to fall asleep despite the noise and fall heavily onto, most often, sensitive parts of Maru's anatomy and, despite his protests when he awoke, drool on them in a very unsightly manner and snore like an old drunk. It was strange because on every trip Maru had been with his friend he'd not once heard him snore like that, so either he was an incredibly deep sleeper and always managed to fall asleep before Ueda did or this was some unconscious effort to drown out the noise in the room on Ueda's part.
Anyway, this morning he had chosen to avoid their room entirely in favour of not making his current headache any worse than it already was and so far was very pleased with the results.
But it seems he needn't have bothered seeking out his gloriously quiet little haven today because with every step he took this corridor had band members spewing out in front of him in various states of distress and anguish, and it crossed his mind that he'd accidentally wandered into some kind of strange parallel universe - except he was too realistic for all that - some new fantastical game, then.
And a glance at the doorway into the Kat-tun room revealed Yamashita wearing some ridiculously huge papier-mâché version of his own head which he'd got lodged in the narrow entryway and by the sound of the shouts coming from inside the room past the flailing limbs was causing a very hilarious reaction.
His stop off in the toilet, as well, had been an incredibly weird experience indeed, thanks to what he was sure were Ryo and Shige's voices frantically arguing in one of the bigger stalls amidst what sounded like lots of falling into the sides and the most disgusting smell he had ever had the misfortune of experiencing and he had left thoroughly shocked that either of them could have produced such a stupendously odious substance at all, while at the same time making a mental note to keep an eye out for any dodgy cafeteria food that may have caused it.
Thus he breathed a sigh of relief as he closed the soundproof door behind him, shutting out the world so he could spend at least a few minutes in peace with his own thoughts, audible for once over the din that constantly surrounded him.
He felt so comfortable just sitting quietly to de-clutter his mind, and as he sifted though all he thoughts in his head it overwhelmed him just how many pertain to Massu, this underlying irrational jealousy over everyone he comes into contact with and with a mind of their own his thoughts concoct nightmarish scenarios of their now moral-less members defiling the innocent man.
Just when was it that the younger man had begun to monopolise his thoughts and cause such uncharacteristic hostility towards innocent bystanders that may or may not have designs on him? It wasn't like Massu had begun to do anything different, more like all this little things about him had embedded themselves deep in Nakamaru’s consciousness, waiting for enough of them to be amassed for them to group together to form a sufficient argument to make their case.
And a damn convincing case they made.
But other parts of his possibly more rational mind were raising serious objections to the lack of evidence as to why
this sudden attraction came about, yet was steadily losing against superior numbers the more he thought over this turn of events. Best to just accept it as some passing fancy and try to avoid Massu for a bit.
Nakamaru had not been in the recording room long before he discovered his new plan was really fated not to last as Massu came rushing into the room and slammed the door behind him, bracing himself against it while his eyes darted around the new surroundings like some crazed escaped mental patient.
He was out of breath huffing huge gulps of air into his lungs like he'd just had the run of his life desperately trying escape some killer bees in hot pursuit, but considering the company didn't generally go in for killer bee inhabitants (though seeing some of the more insane photo shoots you never knew these days) it probably wasn't that.
He was jittery as Nakamaru approached him for an explanation for the sudden entrance and possibly to make a speedy escape from the other man, like someone who'd had one too many cups of coffee to stay awake and alert and now jumped at the slightest noise in paranoia, but that couldn't be right, Massu didn't drink coffee, refusing to depend on such an artificial substance to keep himself going.
"STAY BACK!" Massu exclaimed, as though Nakamaru was coming at him with an axe instead of a calming hand as he was doing.
"Umm, what?" He questioned, perplexed by this incredibly strange behaviour of Massu's.
To which Massu straightened from his previously defensively coiled position against the door, clearly somewhat reassured by Nakamaru's response.
"Aren't you going to throw yourself at me?"
'Crap,' Maru thought. How did Massu know what he himself had only just realised? But, he figured it was better to play it cool, to pretend he had no idea what on earth Massu was talking about.
"Why exactly would I do that?" And even he was impressed at how natural he managed to make that question sound.
"The whole building is trying to grope me!" Massu explained and this
time the look of shock on Maru's face was all genuine, too shocked even to have a chance to be put out that his previous bitterness of Massu's popularity with the other members was coming true.
"I was late, and the minute I walked down the hallway they just jumped me! Is this some new punishment they dreamt up or did you all drink aphrodisiac for breakfast before I got here?" Massu continued, which although it sounded like light hearted kidding didn't disguise the edge of panic still lingering about his person or in fact the possibility that any number of their artists could have orchestrated such a stunt in a moment of boredom.
And Maru was completely doomed, because Massu looked so hot right now, chest heaving noticeably with each fight to get his breath back, his clothes looking dishevelled and rugged no doubt from the amorous attacks which Maru was finding himself closer and closer to doing himself. He had to get out of there before he got seriously turned on without Massu noticing.
"I feel violated. Jin got his hands down my pants and someone stuck their tongue in my ear. It felt...long."
wasn't a pleasant image, though he did wonder which member was blessed with such a long tongue and how he could surreptitiously find out and cut out said appendage for getting it's wet metaphorical hands on Massu before he had.
"Thank God I escaped, or I'd be in one hell of a Massu-centric orgy about now and I prefer to keep my orgies until after lunch, thank you very much." A smile of both relief and cheeky mirth danced across his lips despite his previous near rape dilemma, seeming totally at ease now he was 'safe' with Nakamaru, not realising how wrong he was. Exactly what Nakamaru didn't need. Mentions of orgies and Massu in the same thought process, even jokingly, caused this explosion of sweaty naked images to parade across his inner eye, adding fuel to his already addled mind, torn between being incredibly turned on and immensely jealous that he wasn't being included in all the attention paid to Massu.
He couldn't stop himself, seeing Massu in this new, dirtier and distinctly more naked light was clicking all this friendship with the younger man onto a new level, the army of arguments in his had cheering heartily at their overwhelming victory at winning him wholeheartedly onto their side, but there was no way his disposition would allow him to make an unassured move. So he found himself merely wishing that Massu would sense the effect he was having on him, maybe, and take the weight off of Maru's shoulders.
And the more he thought about it, the more perfect Massu seemed, sweet and kind and perfect, rushing into futures of white picket fences and a cute puppy and possibly Massu in his AiQ apron calling him Honey, but probably not testing his logic solving abilities before he was allowed food.
Nakamaru really had no idea how this tangent to his thoughts came about, he should
be thinking about women and the domestic futures one could have with them. But women were so scary! Such difficult, intimidating things that he couldn't fathom and definitely couldn't handle, so small and delicate, but sharp minded and always a step ahead of everyone. They made him sweat, agonising over what to say without embarrassing himself, to try and be witty and cool and fail miserably regardless and just sweating all the more as a result. So really this was the perfect solution, if you discounted the fact that Massu was his friend, and co-worker.
But now that he'd made the connection, Massu was having the same effect on him as he claimed to have on the rest of the group, as Nakamaru scrambled for something to say so he didn't look like a freak for no reason. Yet still he was shaking, so desperately willing himself to do well and not make a fool of himself, words spilling out in a rush of nonsensical gibberish, like his brain was just unloading all of its contents in a massive fit of verbal diarrhoea - which was definitely some sort of misfire going on in its wiring somewhere because diarrhoea and 'i like you' should NEVER come in the same sentence if not immediately followed by excruciating death by sheer humiliation.
But Massu was still smiling at him, big and bright and adorable and just plain lovely, making it completely impossible to articulate the quality it exuded which was something so uniquely Massu, that he loved and that scared him into this state in the first place, because this was important
, this could shatter him if it went wrong.
Gently clasping Maru's hand in his own, stopping the flow of words with that one bit of contact, understanding Maru so implicitly that he didn't need to hear what he was going to say because it was written in his manner, inscribed over months of friendship into elaborate essays of history between them and all you had to do was read the story to see where it was going.
He needn't have worried because Massu always knew exactly what to do.
He's not sure when the transition happens, but Massu is kissing him, so sweetly, their situation fading into the background, drowned out by all the other thoughts about how he tastes like rice that he'd just eaten for breakfast, and honey, a slight twinge of sweat from the run and something of ambrosia like brilliance that has to be purely Massu.
But that wasn't enough, it was wonderful, but how he longed to have the confidence of Jin or Kame at this very moment so he could show Massu exactly what he thought of him, as Maru puts all his effort into screwing up all his courage to claim another kiss as the other man pulled away.
This time when their lips came together is was nothing like the chaste, shy kiss of before. Nakamaru felt this inexplicable feeling of self-assurance radiating through him, felt he could get anything he wanted and had no reason to be nervous merely kissing Massu and with this new assertive attitude he could feel the younger man respond in kind, closing the space between them as he accepted the passionate kiss bestowed upon him.
He could feel the strength in the other man’s fingers as Massu brought a hand up to clasp in his hair, angling him to continue the exchange and preventing any thought of withdrawal.
As cliché as it sounded, Massu kissed like he ate, tasting and sampling the kiss as though it was the most delicious thing he'd ever eaten, accepting everything Maru chose to give him until his patience wore thin and he took exactly what he'd found so delectable.
It was Massu who backed them into the door he'd not so long ago entered in a panic at being defiled, pulling Nakamaru along with him, every atom of his body signalling it wanted to be pressed fully against the older man as he sandwiched himself between Nakamaru and the door, to have him bearing down on him, surrounded in a mimicry of no escape.
The muscles on his arms were nothing to be trifled with and as well as Maru knew that his friend worked out, perhaps more than most of the company combined even, knowing or even seeing the muscles was nothing compared to feeling them under your own fingertips, tracing the contours as they flexed to grip your own
hair. Such power, it was intoxicating and Maru was taken aback at how erotic he found this display of dominance irrelevant of their positions, never having thought himself one to be seduced by strength or even prospect of submission.
Against all concepts of pride and his previously closed view of his preferences, he felt like giving himself over to this man, to play to his every whim just to experience whatever he chose to give him, such implicit trust he placed in him.
If he hadn't known better he would think that Massu magicked his clothes off with how quickly they disappeared, them both left bare from the waist up with barely a parting of their locked lips, the magnetism between them refusing to let them part for long before they devoured each other hungrily once more.
The transition from upright to horizontal was just as smooth, sparing a second to be thankful for the plush carpet the room was decorated with that welcomed him onto his back rather than shocking him back into the real world like a cold surface would have imposed.
And this time it was Massu looming over Nakamaru, taking in the sight of a chest so rarely bared for public viewing, a delicacy for such beauty to go unappreciated and glorious in its untainted expanse. It would almost be a crime not
de-viriginise such a body just a little bit.
Massu was like another man entirely, a Jekyll and Hyde transformation yet not, the younger man was still being considerate behind the assertiveness, but it was strange to see those features he saw so often smiling and laughing, now so focused as strong fingers traced lines across his torso, dipping and caressing in places he didn't even know were erogenous. Licking him unashamedly, circling a nipple before nipping at the sensitive flesh, laving a wet line down towards his navel before blowing along the path and sending cold frissons of new sensation zipping across his exposed skin.
The moans he was drawing from their resident beat-boxer would put them all
to shame, the initial shocked gasp morphing into deep heartfelt groans of appreciation, his voice caressing the sounds rather than merely issuing them. Timbres slid across his senses in ways that he had never experienced before from a partner, the varied tones each as gorgeous to the ears as the one before just driving Massu to discover yet more symphonies of sound with his actions.
Nakamaru was none the wiser to his being played like an instrument, literally, far to lost in the new and delicious way he was being touched and tasted, each bit of contact reacting with the others to form some firework display of epic proportions about his body without a single touch below the waist.
It occurs to him that this act of complete passiveness is the cowards way out of this encounter, that he should be being more assertive towards the other man, not leaving Massu to do all the 'work'. So he reaches out blindly, not such quite when his eyes had fallen shut, too overwhelmed to pry themselves back open, digging fingers into firm shoulders to pull the reassuring weight down on top of him and fuse their lips together once again.
The way Massu's knees have fallen to either side of Maru's hips as he pulled him down, brings their lower halves into contact for the first time in what seems like an eternity, neither man caring to restrain the desperate thrusts for stronger contact as flesh strains for touch beneath thick layers of denim.
They are unstoppable in their efforts, hips working with blind abandon grasping with blunt, hampered fingers for an orgasm just out of reach yet also tantalisingly close that it teased them with its possibility of becoming reality and just how explosive it would be should they attain it.
Logical thought had fled Maru's mind and it's by pure instinct that his hands force themselves beneath the waistband of Massu's jeans, grabbing handfuls of smooth flesh to savagely pull their hips together, his fingers digging in for purchase with bruising force as he sought to push them both over the edge.
And before he realised it, before he could prepare, or have time to realise what it was he was about to do and where, Nakamaru was coming, fast and uncontrollable like he was a young boy having a guilty wank in his bedroom at night where no-one would see, his release staunched by his own clothes which now felt too constricting too humid and uncomfortable.
Reality was rushing back at a dizzying speed with the heavy weight of Massu still firmly pressed against his lower half, his expression unreadable past his thoroughly mussed hair which hung down in front of his downturned face and Maru's trademark nerves came back with a vengeance.
But then Massu smiled, chuckling softly despite the situation, his face not displaying a trace of discomfort or regret and for a minute Nakamaru even though Massu would get up and walk out, leaving him lying on the floor in a mess like some whore already having served her purpose, but that would never happen. Even as the thoughts were surfacing in his brain there was a hand of aid appearing in his vision, beckoning him upwards in true gentlemanly style.
Which he gladly accepted, not foreseeing the close proximity to Massu he would once again be placing himself in, coming nose to nose with the shorter man once back on his feet and he blushed furiously, desperately casting around his now empty mind for something, anything
to say but coming up miserably short and only getting more flustered as a result ready to dash for cover at any second.
The last thing he expected was for Massu to kiss him again, nothing like before, reassuring and kind rather than hungry and Maru felt that everything would be alright, because despite it all this was still Massu and he would always
Their touching moment was cut short, however, as a crash sounded from outside, followed by a chorus of 'oomphs' and 'ows' and general moans and groans of the kind of discomfort that is painful but not particularly serious and more likely than not, self inflicted.
This was only confirmed as Massu opened the door and a pile of tangled limbs that was almost recognisable as their band mates toppled into the room, to yet more displeased complaints, the distorted mass of bodies undulating in a strangely alien fashion as people attempted to free themselves from each other.
And only then did Nakamaru get his first proper look at the strange state that most of their co-workers appeared to be in - stranger than normal, even.
He was about to open his mouth to exclaim God knows what about their circus-freak state, but Massu cut him off with just one question.
"Have you been talking to Tegoshi?"